Learning to surrender control to God has been a very personal journey for me. For a long time, I was trying to control the anger and pain I had gone through in the past. Because I never truly dealt with it, it eventually became evident in my walk with God.
It was difficult for me to release the pain because, honestly, I didn’t know how. The truth is, I wasn’t ready to really let it go. I wanted the people who had caused me pain to pay for what they had done. At the time, I would say I was struggling to trust God because I wanted vengeance, and part of me felt as though God didn’t care.
But the more time I spent with God, the more He began to work on me. Eventually, I opened up to my husband and told him what was happening inside of me. I could no longer hide what I had been carrying.
My husband constantly prayed for me and with me. Eventually, I came to the place where I knew it was time to release the pain and anger if I truly wanted God to use me for His honor and glory. I was scared that what I was holding onto would bring reproach to the ministry He had placed in me.
So I began to pray and fast and ask God to set me free. God heard me, but I soon discovered that surrender wasn’t going to happen the way I expected. He put me on the Potter’s wheel, and that is where He began teaching me what it really means to surrender.
Through that season, God taught me five things about surrender that I believe can help anyone who is struggling to release control and completely trust Him.
5 Ways to Surrender Control to God
These lessons did not come from an easy season in my life. They came through prayer, tears, testing, failure, and allowing God to continue working on me. If you are struggling to let go of something today, I pray that what God taught me will encourage you to trust Him with what you have been carrying.
1. Be Honest With God About What You’re Holding Onto
The first thing I had to do was become honest about what I was actually holding onto. For me, it was anger and pain. I could have told myself that I had moved on and continued going through the motions of my walk with God, but eventually, what I had never dealt with began showing itself.
Sometimes we think surrender begins with letting go, but I believe it first requires us to acknowledge what we are holding. We cannot surrender something we refuse to admit is there.
Maybe for you it is anger or unforgiveness. Maybe it is fear, disappointment, a relationship, your children, your finances, or your future. Perhaps it is something that happened years ago that still affects the way you think and respond today.
God already knows what is in our hearts. Being honest with Him isn’t giving Him information He doesn’t have. It is opening our hearts and allowing Him into the places we may have tried to keep closed.
Psalm 139:23–24 (KJV) says, “Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”
That can be an uncomfortable prayer because when we ask God to search us, He may reveal things we don’t want to confront. That was part of what happened to me. God began showing me what the pain I had experienced had produced inside of my heart.
It wasn’t enough for me to recognize what other people had done. God was showing me that I also needed to deal with what I had allowed to remain inside of me.
Honesty became the beginning of surrender.
2. Bring What You’re Carrying to God in Prayer
Once I realized what the anger and pain were doing inside of me, I knew I couldn’t overcome them in my own strength. I needed God to do something in me that I could not do for myself.
So I began to pray and fast and ask God to set me free. I cried and begged Him to help me because I knew I didn’t want to continue carrying what had been weighing me down.
There are some things we have carried for so long that releasing them can be difficult. We may genuinely want freedom while another part of us is still holding onto what happened.
That was part of my struggle. I wanted freedom, but for a time, I also wanted vengeance. I wanted the people who had caused the pain to pay. I had to bring even those feelings honestly before God.
Psalm 62:8 (KJV) says, “Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah.”
God invites us to pour our hearts out before Him. Our prayers do not have to sound perfect. If you’re angry, tell Him. If you’re hurt, tell Him. If you’re struggling to forgive, tell Him. If you don’t understand why He allowed something to happen, tell Him. If you are struggling to trust Him, tell Him that too.
Prayer became an important part of learning to surrender control to God because I was finally giving Him what I had tried to carry myself. Instead of pretending everything was okay, I could come before Him honestly and ask Him to change my heart.
3. Trust God With the Outcome
Learning to trust God with the outcome was one of the hardest parts of surrender for me because I wanted the people who had hurt me to pay.
When you have experienced pain, surrender can sometimes feel unfair. You may wonder, If I let this go, does that mean what they did was okay? Does it mean they get away with what happened?
But surrender does not mean the pain wasn’t real. It does not mean what happened was right, and it does not mean there should never be consequences. It means we stop allowing the desire for vengeance to control our hearts and place justice into God’s hands.
Romans 12:19 (KJV) says, “Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.”
To surrender control to God, I had to trust that He saw what happened, that He cared, and that vengeance belonged to Him.
For a time, I thought God didn’t care because I couldn’t see Him responding to the situation the way I wanted Him to. But trusting God meant releasing not only the situation but also my expectations of what He should do about it.
Proverbs 3:5–6 (KJV) says, “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”
It is possible to say we trust God while still trying to control how everything should turn out. True surrender requires us to place the outcome in His hands.
There comes a point when we have to say, God, I may not understand what You are doing, but I trust You with what I cannot control.
4. Allow God to Take You Through the Process
When I prayed and asked God to set me free, I wanted Him to remove the anger and pain. God answered my prayer, but not in the way I expected.
He put me on the Potter’s wheel.
God began allowing me to face situations that tested me and revealed whether I had truly changed. When I failed, it was back to the Potter’s wheel. Again and again, God was working on me.
Jeremiah 18:6 (KJV) says, “O house of Israel, cannot I do with you as this potter? saith the LORD. Behold, as the clay is in the potter’s hand, so are ye in mine hand, O house of Israel.”
The Potter’s wheel was painful. There were things inside of me that needed to change, and God used the process to expose them. There were times when I cried and begged Him to set me free.
I wanted God to take everything away, but He wasn’t only interested in changing how I felt. He was changing me.
That season taught me something important about surrender. Sometimes we pray for God to deliver us from something and then become confused when He allows us to go through situations that expose the very thing we have been praying about.
But what if that situation isn’t evidence that God has ignored your prayer? What if it is part of His answer?
The test may reveal what still needs to be surrendered. The uncomfortable situation may show you an area where God is still working. Sometimes the process we are asking God to remove is the very process He is using to transform us.
I had to learn to trust the Potter even when I didn’t understand what He was doing with the clay.
5. Keep Choosing Surrender When You’re Tested
Another thing my experience taught me is that surrender isn’t always a one-time decision. I didn’t pray once and suddenly respond perfectly to every situation.
I was tested, and sometimes I failed. When I did, it was back to the Potter’s wheel. But God continued working on me.
Sometimes we become discouraged when an old feeling or response surfaces again. We think, I thought I had already surrendered this. Why am I dealing with it again?
But being tested doesn’t necessarily mean that nothing has changed. Sometimes the test reveals how much God has already done in us and where He still wants us to grow.
Luke 9:23 (KJV) says, “If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.”
That word daily is important. Following Christ requires daily surrender. There may be things we have to place into God’s hands more than once because our natural tendency is to reach back for them.
When the anger comes back, surrender it again. When fear tries to take over, surrender it again. When you begin worrying about an outcome you cannot control, surrender it again.
Every time we choose God’s way instead of our own, we are learning to trust Him more.
What Surrendering Control to God Taught Me About Trust
That season was painful. I cried and begged God to set me free, and He did. But looking back now, I can see that freedom wasn’t only about God taking away my anger. He was teaching me to trust Him.
He was showing me that I didn’t have to control everything. I didn’t have to make anyone pay, and I didn’t have to understand everything He was doing. I needed to trust Him.
There are times when we ask God to change our circumstances, deal with another person, or remove something painful from our lives. But sometimes, while we are looking for God to work around us, He begins working within us.
That is what He did with me.
The Potter’s wheel wasn’t punishment. It was a place of transformation. God was shaping areas of my heart that I had allowed pain to control for too long. Although the process hurt, freedom was waiting on the other side.
I also learned that surrender is not weakness. It takes faith to release something you desperately want to control and place it into the hands of God. It takes trust to believe that His way is better when you cannot yet see what He is doing.
What Are You Struggling to Surrender?
Maybe your struggle isn’t anger. Maybe you are trying to control your future. Maybe you are worried about your children, your marriage, your finances, a relationship, your career, or something you have been praying about for a long time.
Maybe someone hurt you, and although years have passed, you are still carrying the pain.
Whatever it is, you don’t have to know exactly how to let go before coming to God. I didn’t.
Start by being honest about what you are carrying. Bring it to God in prayer. Trust Him with the outcome. Allow Him to take you through His process, and when you are tested, choose surrender again.
You may not be able to control what happened yesterday or what will happen tomorrow, but you can decide who you will trust today.
Learning to surrender control to God doesn’t mean you suddenly understand everything. It means you are learning to trust the One who does.
God knows what you are carrying. He knows why it is difficult for you to release it. He knows the pain behind it, and He knows exactly what needs to happen in your heart.
Don’t be afraid of the Potter’s wheel. The process may be uncomfortable, but you can trust the hands of the Potter.
I know because He worked on me. He heard my prayers. He shaped me.
And He set me free.
Prayer
Heavenly Father, I come before You with the things I have been trying to control. You know the pain, anger, fear, disappointment, and uncertainty I have carried. Help me to surrender them completely to You.
Search my heart and reveal anything I am holding onto that is keeping me from walking freely with You. When I don’t understand what You are doing, teach me to trust You. When the process becomes painful, remind me that I am still in the Potter’s hands.
Give me the strength to release what belongs in Your hands and the faith to trust You with the outcome. Continue shaping me into the person You have called me to be. Thank You for hearing my prayers, working on me, and setting me free.
In Jesus name, Amen.
Continue Your Journey
If this blog has encouraged you, continue your journey by reading:
Grow in Faith Through Life’s Trials
In this personal reflection, I share how God uses difficult seasons to strengthen our faith and teach us to trust Him. If you are learning to surrender control to God, I pray this post encourages you to keep trusting Him through every trial.